This was the summer of friends getting married. Sam and I found ourselves attending weddings as guests for the first time. “Isn’t it weird going to a wedding as a guest? It’s like what do you do?” was a conversation I had with one of the bartenders who was sharing her own experience of feeling unsettled when at a wedding, but not working the event. The answer is obvious, of course you are there to enjoy yourself and celebrate with your friends, but when you absolutely love capturing beautiful moments it’s hard just being a guest. Although every wedding we attended this summer we let our friends know we will shoot something for them casually throughout the day and create a film as our wedding gift.
Now I have causally highlighted in italics because it’s easy to think you will be casually working when in reality, when you love what you do, you are always working. This is when I realized, filming gives me permission to notice.
When I’m filming, I’m constantly eyeing out the vibe, the small conversations happening in groups. Who is laughing? Who feels like dancing? Are there kids running around? What’s happening with the light and how is it shimmering through the trees? Who is sharing a hug? There are hundreds of moments happening at the same time during a wedding, and I love to think of my films as an editorial of all these different moments that are happening at the same time.
The experience of filming a few weddings as a guest gave me the ability to get lost in my thoughts and daydreams more than usual. I am there as a guest so there’s really no pressure to get every single kind of shot, but I know what’s most important and I am committed to being there for that. Filming as a guest gave me the benefit to lean into both work and play simultaneously.
I climb up a hillside at Wailua Valley Farms, and now I have a view of the party which is unseen by any of the guests, not even the bride and groom. Shortly after I get up there I’m joined by Jason Deng, who is one of my personal favorite dreamy wedding photographers.
“Cool shot!” Jason says as I’m hiding behind a tree with mossy green leaves lit up from the sunshine. It was so kind of him to acknowledge what I was getting up to. I look up to Jason's work a lot and really admire him as a creative.
“I just love filming weddings. I mean, take a look at this. This is the best angle of the entire party. You can really see everything. All the guests, the dinner tables, the lights, the cottage, and no one else will see this but us. How random is this angle but it’s so beautiful. Our job is so special because when we’re capturing the party, we see more of the party than anyone else, and then we get to showcase our perspective of it all. How cool is that!?” I said.
I just love my job. Cocktail dress and all. I can’t stop working even when I’m not really supposed to be working.
“That’s why I’m going to be filming my own wedding! One of the best parts of the party is walking around looking at it from different angles.” I tell Jason.
You need lots of different angles to capture a scene. Scratch that, re write angles to angels.
“How could I not do what I love the most at my own wedding? I’m gonna make it happen.” I say in full confidence.
Although worried that Jason might think I’m too wacky, I was pleasantly surprised by his reaction. He was shocked and excited. “I think that’s really cool and I’ve never seen anyone do that, you’d be the first” He said. It was the encouragement I needed to stay committed to my crazy idea of filming my own wedding next year.
Being a guest this summer and with our wedding coming up, I started to imagine for the first time what it's going to be like when everyone I know and love is all in one place enchanted by the same afternoon, light, love and music. All these weddings I film are truly such a celebration. They are so special. For me, it will be most important to capture the body language of my friends and family. Their laughs and conversations. You unlock so much emotion through movement in video, which is why it is so important having a video capture. Video should go hand in hand with photos to tell the full story of the moment. Yes, I am planning on doing both somehow at our wedding next year. Who knows maybe my thoughts on this will change but my camera is my superpower and it’s essential I have it as part of my wedding costume! I can’t imagine not working the event.
Traditional or non traditional, weddings are a ceremony. So for me, who is a wedding videographer in every sense of the word, filming my own wedding film will also be part ceremonial. Next year will mark 15 years of being in love with creating films. This will be my way of honoring my highest form. My “Letters To The House” series is my practice. I can only imagine my tripod will be dressed up and following me wherever I go. When working alongside my intuition, I know it will all come together the way it is supposed to. I know that I want to spend my wedding taking the moment in. I want to notice everything and everyone. My eyes are wide open.
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